The world has a weird way of hitting you in the head sometimes.
For the past few months, I have been complaining about how bored I am. Bored. Bored. Bored. I kept telling people I was bored to death…bored to tears…nothing to do in this God foresaken place.
BAM!
My aunt finds out that I know a little of Photoshop and decides that, to save her office money, they will make me do the layouts for their brochures. Suddenly…just when I was planning to go out on dates and go into vlogging…I was swamped with ‘work’! I have to work on the brochure and website even on weekends! And they’re not only making me do the layout, I also have to stand by the printer and produce the actual fliers. From being bored to death…I was suddenly sooo busy that I had to turn down dates! Wth! And now, it’s taking away my social life!…or at least what little social life I have here. Also, it is giving me eye bags…ugh.
They’re not the easiest ‘clients’ either. The owner would give me instructions…then after I follow his instructions…he would change his mind and make corrections again on his own text. Once, he encircled this part of the text and said, “Can you make this bigger?” So I made the text bigger. After several revisions on other parts of the brochure, he came to me the next day and says to me, “Why is the text here bigger? Make it smaller so it doesn’t look disproportionate.” Argh! Didn’t he just tell me to make it bigger?! Also, I have to keep reminding them that I.AM.NOT.A.GRAPHIC.ARTIST. I’m just doing it for them because my aunt told me to. And they think just cuz you know Photoshop, you can already do professional editing. One of them asked me if I could ‘fix’ his necktie because it was crooked. Then asked me to make his bald head less shiny. A woman asked me to please remove her double chin and “that thing that makes me look like I have a moustache’. Waahhh! I’m not a magician! This is exactly why I didn’t want to work on the agency side before. I don’t have the patience for clients. I would rather be the irrational client account managers hate=P
I remember in grade school, ‘crushes’ were ‘in’. People would want to know who your crush is….you would buy Bop and Teen Beat to cut out pictures of your celebrity crush….we even laminated magazine cut-outs of our crushes and put them in our wallets!
Now, I’m 27…and I find myself having enough idle timeto have a handful of crushes once again. But it’s no longer the innocent grade school crush where I would fantasize about meeting them and holding their hands and maybe getting a peck on the cheek from them. Now it’s more of a nakakalaglag-panty-ka hardcore crush that won’t pass the MTRCB.
(You will now see Sorsi at her chaka-est…)
#1 on my list, of course, is DAVID COOK! Every Tuesday I watch American Idol on our big screen TV and I honestly do not care about the other Idols…all I want to watch is David Cook. And when he is singing….I find myself smiling…and when he smiles…I feel something stir inside me…and I want to tell him…Please pakasal na tayo.
Most nakakalaglag panty moment: When he did his rendition of my favorite Mariah Carey song…(i’m sure you’ve seen a vid of this somewhere…if not, where have you been that past two weeks?!?)
Someone posed a question to me before….What do you have to offer men? And I proudly said I am very much a wife material. I grew up not having maids for most of my life so I learned to clean bathrooms, wash dishes, iron clothes, do laundry, take care of babies, etcetera etcetera. It usually was enough to make boys think I’m a wife material…but I didn’t know that was because I was around ‘privileged’ people. Most of my rich friends don’t do chores, you see. Cuz they have maids and yayas to do those for them. And most of the guys I knew then also relied on women to do all the cleaning and cooking at home.
I didn’t know I just lived in Pampered-ville.
When I got here, I was still proud of my traditional wife qualities. “They taught us to do things in Home Economics class in school!”
However, I found out that there was no need for my skills here. People have dishwashers so I don’t have to wash dishes. People have washing machines and dryers…and usually, the clothes don’t need ironing anymore when it comes out of the dryer. They have easy-to-use vaccuum cleaners and Swiffer cleaners…no need to make ‘bunot’ and wax the floors. People even have computerized sewing machines!
I’ve made very poor choices when it comes to men and my so-called love life has been a weird mess because of that.
If American Idol were a ‘relationship/lovelife’ competition and I were one of the contestants, I could imagine Simon saying to me …
“To be honest with you Sorsi, not a real good song choice there” (gets…song=man)
“At this point in the competition your life, song choice is really important and you didn’t choose the right song for you…sorry!”
“This song did not really go well with your personality”
“Horrendous”
“That was a complete disaster”
And I would be the Sanjaya of the group…always at the bottom 3.
A friend of mine who has been privy to my ‘horrendous’ choices recently sent me this article. I’m sure you don’t have much time to look through it so here it is in a nutshell:
The title says: Looking for love or lust? Your face gives it away. Facial features tell if someone wants commitment or casual sex study says.
I had lunch again with Gay Lawyer and 2 friends a while ago. This conversation (or whatever I was able to reconstruct from it) ensued…
GL=Gay lawyer, F1=friend 1, F2=friend 2
GL: So how is 6-2? (What he calls the 6′2″ guy I’ve been ‘hanging out’ with…see previous post)
Me: Oh, we’re still ‘hanging out’
GL: Well, all you’re gonna be is ‘hanging out’ until you put out girl.
F1: Oh c’mon. That’s not what he’s thinking.
GL: Oh girls, I’m just telling you the truth here. That is what a normal American guy would be thinking. It may be different from what you Filipinas know but American guys are like that. Like he’s thinking right now he’s going to hang out with Cathy but he’ll still leave things open in case a hot broad would be willing to give him some punani! So unless Cathy gives him some punani, they’ll just be hanging out.
Recently, I just realized one fact that a lot of people have been pointing out to me for a while now…that I am single, 27, and should be out dating instead of watching American Idol and America’s Next Top Model Reruns all the time. The reason I’d been avoiding any dates is because I had previously thought I was unavailable…and also, I thought only pedophiles and high school students would find me attractive here. My aunt and my dad always put on a freak show when I am around…they would pull me and tell whoever they’re talking to, “Guess how old she is!!!” and we would get answers like 16 or 18….or 13. Who would date a 13 year old Asian with braces and small boobs? Also, I know for a fact that Americans like Asians….but the Asians they like are usually the ‘exotic’ Filipinas (you know what I mean) or Chinese or Japanese looking girls. I am a mixed breed Fil-Chi girl who is not chinky-eyed enough to be Oriental looking and not dark enough to be Filipina looking (people here actually think I’m Chinese more than Filipino). So I really thought I had no market here at all. I was ready to be single for the duration of my stay here.
These two girls dream of being on “America’s Next Top Model”…guess who will get picked and who will not eh?
This girl is 17 years old and she is more than a ruler taller than me! A friend of mine told me one time, as we were watching some Americans, that what sucks about being around all those white people is that we get to see our genetic inferiorities. I mean, these people are born that way…tall, skinny…they don’t have to take growth balls or whatnot. No effort at all…they’re just tall and skinny. And here I am…born with genes that gave me big thighs and a height that people say “ows?? Imposible!” to. Just look at the picture…does anyone else notice that my boobs begin where her legs end??? Waaahhhh!!! Cruel world!
(Sorry, mejo zeeeryus mode nang konte…minsan lang naman…=P)
I remember this movie I chanced upon on TV a long time ago. I don’t know the title…I didn’t even finish the movie…just watched a bit of it. And in that bit that I watched, there was this girl (I think it was Holly Hunter but I’m not sure) and she was living alone. Her alone-ness was expressed so well in the scene…with her sitting alone, not doing anything….eating alone…her thoughts are said out loud in the movie…and she was thinking of this and that as she sat alone in her apartment. She was feeling so alone that she called for a male massage therapist. The male massage therapist came to her apartment and took off his pants. Ohhh…THAT kind of massage therapist.
I thought to myself, I don’t want to end up like that one day.
And yet, that’s exactly how I turned out years later…alone, in an apartment…well, I didn’t order a male massage therapist though. It was only recently that I discovered the ‘Tubero’ secret after all.
But this is not about that. I recently watched another film called “Stranger Than Fiction”. Again, it was about a man who was single and living alone…so alone that he counts his brush strokes when brushing his teeth and he lives out his day the same way everyday. Many films here center on being alone and sad. I don’t watch a lot of Filipino films but I don’t think we have a lot of sad movies. I remember watching movies with happy endings and dance numbers. Our favorites are Tito Vic and Joey and Dolphy. In the films, the characters are always surrounded by family and the ‘barkada’. Depressing movies in the Philippines may get critical acclaim…but don’t do well in the box office. We are happy-ending addicts. Does that reflect why we are a happier people? Read the rest of this entry »
I was watching TV (as usual) this afternoon and I saw this commercial…
And found this too online:
These ads gave me the eeby-geebies. Anything you post online, anyone can see…it made me think of my blog…my online albums…and my online profiles on the net. Read the rest of this entry »
